The start of new relationships are always causing a whole palette of emotions – excitement, joy, adrenaline plays, I want to show their best side. But all this may be overshadowed by such complex feelings like fear. The nature of fear is in each of us, and silly to say “I’m not afraid of anything”. And the fear of new relationships- this is a very common phenomenon, as the reasons for such a fear can be a lot.
What options? For example, the previous relationship ended badly, it hurt after breaking up, and you do not want to live this pain again, or something else.
Whatever your fear or fed, not to start a new relationship because of it the smartest move would not so let’s look at how fear of arrest. You want your “happily ever after”, right? So, there is fear, we broadly understood. I’ll make only one addition – the reasons for their fears, recurring emotions, feelings, emotions, and reactions to any situation, you need to look in the past. Therefore, get ready to turn around and look – that of the past, you pull for them and how it affects you? In the fight with your fear of new relationships start with the analysis.
STEP 1: ANALYZE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
If past relationships you traumatized, think – what was the most painful? What was at the heart of conflicts, quarrels, and so on. D.? The answers to these questions will help you to come and see the situation from the outside, as well as to understand what is behind your fear. If you were very good, warm and bright attitude, write five paragraphs, why they did not exist, that prevent them from developing. These points will help you to analyze everything, to see more of their mistakes and avoid.
STEP 2: UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES AND THERE IS NO
Nobody in the world will not tell you, “This man will love you all my life and be on hand, you will have ten children and you will die in one day.” If you forget the fortune tellers, that really no one will never give you a guarantee (and a fortune-teller did not give). Why? Because the world is changing, you are changing, circumstances change. Maybe you yourself in ten years of marriage, you say, “I’m tired”, sit on a plane and going to drink cocktails on the beach somewhere in Malibu, hugging burning handsome? See, you yourself can not give a guarantee with absolute certainty to predict the future – how can they expect from the other person? If today you want to say: “I’m not this, I will do so not” remind folk wisdom – “do not promise.”
Also Read: The Art of Happiness – All About Life
STEP 3: BUILD A LOGICAL CHAIN
As a rule, people live on the principle of “Fear has big eyes” and are afraid of everything that ever happens never, ever has a much smaller impact. Therefore, write three of their most important fear in a new relationship, feel those fears and build on each string of the type “cause-effect”. For example, you are afraid that you will change a man. What will happen next? You will be hurt. What then? You have parted with him. And then? You are picky about the men. And then? Meeting new. Is the principle clear? Write your fears and understand that the devil is not so, as he is painted.
STEP 4: LOOK AT THE SITUATION FROM A NEW ANGLE
The man who looks at life through the lens of a negative past experience, do you think? “Relationships – this is a new injury.” Oh, you? If you think so, then so be it. Look at every new relationship, and for the rest of his life as a whole, as a set of new opportunities, experiences, travel, dating, etc. The positive view of the world can greatly change life itself, because the ability to see the possibilities -: This is one of the key features needed for happiness.
STEP 5. TRUST GRADUALLY
Afraid of new relationships, especially if the previous did not end very well, that’s fine. Any relationship associated with trust in the other person. A trust at 100% is very difficult, but think about it, is it necessary? I’m not saying that a man should be trusted as ten percent, and after twenty years of marriage. No, but rationality is important. Think of your man as a man who is now next to you, enjoy this moment, plan with him something. But it is not necessary in the first month of love to move to it with all the things to buy an apartment in the mortgage, processing it, a mortgage that is to say, to myself and to start work on five children at once. It sounds funny, and I’m sure you do understand it, but a lot of girls, unfortunately, admit the mistake, and then cry and live in a state of deep dissatisfaction. Credibility comes slowly, and you will feel it. So at first feel, and then jump in the pool with his head, so you do not read such articles again.
STEP 6. METHOD FOR PROKACHANNYH PEOPLE – DO NOT TRY TO HIDE HIS FEAR
Why PROkachannyh? Because pumped people do not run away from the problem and recognize it. Do not try to hide the fact that you are afraid of new relationships. Better tell me honestly man, “You know, I had a negative experience in the past relationship, and I think I still could not it normal to live, and so I am afraid of new relationships. Let’s treat each other gently, that no one was hurt, well, “In this case, you open just enough to allow many of your boundaries – does not go into details, but puts all the points the I. Steps are not many, and they are, in general, are not as difficult, but the most important complication – realization. If you really are afraid of new relationships and it prevents you to live fully, not put off tomorrow step 1. Start right now, because, as practice shows, “tomorrow” in such cases never occurs. Set a goal to be patient and brave, and you will succeed.